ROUTINE

Little death

after little death

I'm my own

murderer

Bedtime routine

 without which

I cannot fall asleep

Dopamine level leveled

At last

Hormones having a blast

... without which

the body is cold

with which

may bleed

apart from which

it is - missing

SEPTEMBER

You said

Maybe in time you'll learn how I show that I care

I didn't learn

and this lesson

is what I crave

is what hunts

I didn't say the things you heard

phones can be impaired

you listen

you do

you did

and so soft was your skin

a symbol of what you're hiding in

fleshy chunks that can caress

I want to get to know them

better – but

the door is shut

there won't be more

I understand we all want to own

something stable

a real

estate

Heart

is not at all

at least that's what experience shows

but there's only one September this year

and it's gone

without you

with substitutes

In my naivety, I see future

with the substitute doors closed

so I can reopen yours

but doors have handles on both sides

as well as ax scars

I'm sorry I didn't mention

my terminal condition

subconscious hid it

but after all

everything has an expiry date

Time is relative

would the scientist say

So maybe, after all again

it didn't matter

that there's only one September this year

that we are this old or young once

that maybe we'll never cross paths

again

maybe it's just silly

that I miss you

the unexpected boy

whose fleshy chunks

I barely know

and already kind of love

WHERE

Closing myself in a box
With a tiny scrap of sunlight
I dared to try
I dared to say no
And already knew
Why it couldn't work

But still asked so many times
This shitty sounding
Why? Why? Why?
We all want to know who is guilty
Because we don't want to be the ones

I proclaimed so many important things
In front of the mirror

And my last problem is
Where? Oh where is the man
who is going to pay for my rent?

IDENTITY-FODDER

Feed me miso soup

feed me pumpkin stew

feed me herbal brew

feed me vegetable broth

liquids stream down my throat

Feed me baby

I'll stay in bed

won't get fat

we'll burn it all

we'll burn

I'm scared

what I'm scared

is what I crave

you're confused you say

so am I

doesn't it make it more fun?

Soon it's too much

you say goodbye

I always tried

to prepare you

I thought we went through

your hand in mine

or the other (possessive) way around

through the gate of kingdom

of contradiction

you seemed excited at first

for a couple of days

but for weeks and months and maybe years

to come

what would be first

is annoyance

You hear those wise people

with lovely smiles

encouraging you

to stay real to who you are

Every time I try

with all the hygienic brain-washes

I end up having less

Who is making a mistake?

 LIFE

 

have I done it to make her feel guilty
or just to inform
will I think it over and over
or cease tomorrow
is it important
is it right
are there any rules
in that game called life

FO-iku

Always aiming femme-fatale

ending up a pussy

NORTH AMERICA

She's like
...

He's like
...

and then she's like

so they were like

Well

and I'm like

What? But they were like

and then he's like
I don't know

so I'm like
And she's like
And he's like
And they were like
So we were like
So she's like
Then he's like
And I am like
 No, no, no

Actually Actually
Oh my goodness!

Whatever
Nice

Fuck me!

Awesome

PROPHETIC

I tell you everything

but truth

And I eat so healthy

with you

I go for hikes

and I am so

naive

just as you would like

I say what sounds like your own thoughts

I'm not pretending

I'm drowning

I'm drawing

a path

to make you bored

with me

to make you reject

what I don't really own

so that it doesn't hurt

as much as if you were

to turn your back

to my naked self

and when all my inside screams stop

out loud I'll only say

aaahhh

A-FOBIA

I close my eyes

nobody around

I love my butt

I love my tongue

Now I dance

now I don't care

'cause nobody can stare

But when they arrive

with their dicks, with their eyes

they touch me with them

from far away

my moves become so lame

I disown myself

They are mine, bastards!!!

Go fuck yourselves

your possessive minds

I can dance how I like

without seeing your leaking dicks and tongues!!!

Why is it a source of shame

in our so correct societies

that a straight girl

won't want to fuck a man?

REMEMBER

Oh baby

there is something here

that doesn't allow us

to breathe

Here is the world

you are not there

you are in my head

I dream

I dream very often

about a bucket

filled with

*&*^%$#@$%^&*(

tha thing

I never finish

do I remember?

QUEEN

she is a new wave queen

but she is afraid to speak out

she is so unique

she is a snow flake

and melting

and dying

dying

she – is – dying

she is so fragile

she is so weak

she is a small voice

so powerful

if it dared

to speak out

but she won't

for

she is a new wave queen

but she is afraid to speak out

she is so unique

she is a snow flake

and melting

and dying

dying

she – is – dying

she is lying in her bedroom

she is lying in her bathroom

getting hot and getting colder

till she shivers

till she's dying

till she's moving on

and smiling

and cheering you up

She wants to cheer up on your expense

cheerrrrrrrr up

cheeeeerrrrrr up

on your expense

at least one time

BEYOND

I'm high on sugar

feels so good

half in coma

closer to death

you are tired of me

not getting over those things

they happened so long ago

at the time that you wouldn't even recall

I can't get over

just because you tell so

just because you're tired

I AM TIRED MORE!!!

you are closing the circle

without noticing

you step beyond

I'm inside

cold